Is it okay for my dog to sleep in bed with me?

Most of the time, absolutely yes. In some cases, no.

Don’t worry. Your dog just wants to be comfortable.

Myth Busting

Sometimes people worry that letting their dog sleep in their bed will open the door to all kinds of canine anarchy.

After all, “good” dog owners of well-behaved dogs don’t let their dog sleep in bed with them, right??

Wrong.

Letting your dog sleep in bed with you does not automatically mean he is going to be out of control, disobedient and running the house.

Your mattress is comfortable, right?
It smells like you, right?
You sleep there, right?

That’s why your dog wants to sleep in your bed — not because he’s trying to be alpha or make some kind of power move.

Dogs aren’t stupid.

They just want to be comfortable and be with their people. Just like us!

When is it not okay to let your dog sleep with you?

When it’s Dangerous

Does your dog have a history of aggressive behaviors in any of these contexts?

• Around the bed

• Around people who are supposed to share the bed with him

• Around his sleep or rest in general

• Around you touching or handling him

Basically, if your dog is going to be exposed to some of his triggers while you are unconscious or semi-conscious, bed sharing is a bad idea. For now.

You need to work directly with a qualified positive-reinforcement, force-free behavior professional to determine the best plan for you and your dog.

When it’s Behaviorally Unwise

Aggressive behavior aside, how is your dog’s behavior in the bed otherwise? Do you like what he’s doing when he’s there?

If every night is full of drama and unpleasant behavior before he finally crashes, bed sharing probably isn’t a good idea.

Not because it’s directly causing anarchy, but because the behavior in bed is a problem — even if he ultimately stops.

The more your dog does that stuff, the more he’s going to do that stuff. Unless you like all his bed behaviors, don’t put him in a position to keep rehearsing them.

A qualified dog trainer can help you reduce the problem behaviors!

When children are involved.

I generally discourage bed sharing between dogs and children.

Doing dogs and children right takes a LOT of active supervision. Seriously, a lot. Think helicopter parenting.

No one wants to think their dog would hurt their child, but to keep everyone safe, we have to be realistic.

• Children are going to do things that are unpleasant and threatening to dogs. That’s normal and predictable.

• Most dogs will communicate their discomfort in non-aggressive ways first, but kids don’t pick up on that stuff (most adults don’t either). That’s also normal and predictable.

• Most dogs will escalate their communication if they aren’t being heard. This is normal — humans do it too.

This is why that active supervision is appropriate. But there is no way to actively supervise if you are asleep in the other room.

There may be exceptions to this rule, but it’s better to err on the side of caution unless or until you work directly with a qualified positive-reinforcement professional who can asses your specific situation and dog.

Here’s a list of reputable dog trainers in the Austin, TX area.